My Blog

My first blog

Hello everybody. so this is my first blog. I guess. I will just go with a lil info about me with this one. Lets see. Im sorry if my blogs have bad grammer or bad spelling but you will soon find out that I am more about the truth of what I am saying then the actual way I say it.
My entire life I have been "sick". My first  dx (diagnosis) was when I was 18months old. I was in childrens hospital for 2 months before they finally decided that I had celiac disease.( ceilac disease - autoimmune disease were the villa in your small intestine dies when it comes into contact with gluten). At the time there was lil infor about this and in fact it was thought to be rare ( it isnt). the only useful inf that I wish had been informed to my parents was how once you have a autoimmune disease you are at a higher risk of having more. this also meens that you immune system is not very strong and so you get sick alot and immunizations and medication might not act the same as a "normal person".
I spent most of my childhood getting sick porb like at least once a month ( nothing horrible, just colds, sore throats and such) My next dx was when I was 19. I was dx with hasimotos diesies ( autoimmune diesise were your immune system attacks your thyroid) from that point on I have  to take thyroid med for the rest of my life. It can be very frustrating having your throid messed up. It controles your, hormones. can infuence your heart rythm and lots of other stuff.
I married my first husband when I was 21. I became pregnant at 24. during that time i experianced sever pain throughtout my body that was just explained to me as " that is just being pregnant". wile i was pregnant I was also dx with gestational diebebtes.
Make long story short. Myfirst pregnancy is were the pain began. I was dx with fibromyalgia about a yr after having gavin. I was divorced and remarried.I had my second child 4 yrs later. I officialy am now a stay at home mom now.
I deal with pain everyday. I do not take narcotics. I have many ways i deal with my pain and ladies and gentelman that is what this website is all about.

My Anthem

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so today my blog will be about this song. I love it very much. Because if you are anything like me. you pray that God will take away your pain. well this song reminds me that He is my healer and He will heal me as He sees fit. He heals me daily. Maybe not in the ways that I want necessarly but He does and it is always beautiful

You hold my very moment You calm my raging seas You walk with me through fire And heal all my disease I trust in You, I trust in You
I believe You're my healer I believe You are all I need I believe
And I believe You're my portion I believe You're more than enough for me Jesus You're all I need
You hold my very moment You calm my raging seas You walk with me through fire And heal all my disease I trust in You, Lord I trust in You
I believe You're my healer I believe You are all I need Oh, I believe
I believe You're my portion [ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/healer-lyrics-kari-jobe.html ] I believe You're more than enough for me Jesus You're all I need
Nothing is impossible for You Nothing is impossible Nothing is impossible for You You hold my world in Your hands
Nothing is impossible for You Nothing is impossible Nothing is impossible for You You hold my world in Your hands
I believe You're my healer I believe You are all I need Oh, yes You are, yes You are
And I believe You're my portion Lord I believe You're more than enough for me Jesus You're all I need More than enough for me

I can do anything with you by my side.

 So this is blog is about the love of my life. my husband. honestly the tittle speaks for its self. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and all my other crazy things that are wrong with me long before I met him. I honestly believe it is very possible to have a somewhat normal life with family outings and everything if you have someone who sopports you a 100%. im talking there are days that i get nothing done but watching the kids. my hubby comes home and the house is a mess with toys all over the place. im mean the kids are happy, healthy and fed but that is about it. when he comes home all he cares about is that i have a smile on my face. he is contiosly bringing home heating pads and anything else that he can think of that would help me. he understands how i feel. im saying all this because in that since he is something that helps me be better. because i know that i dont have to feel gulity that the dishes didnt get washed or whatever. i have a true partner that is perfectly ok with whatever i can bring to the table each day. i belive if you have people like that in your life it is easier to live with pain because you know they have your back. i love you Robert Casella

Emotions

So im writing because I definatly think that this is a discution that needs to be addressed. u c im sitting here after having very very painful emoional day yesterday. what do i feel like today, you might ask? well i feel like not only is my heart broken. my body feels horrible as well. it feels like every muscle in my body is tied so tight they might rip apart at any momment. u c the thing is stress has so much to do with fibromyalgia. when u deal with cronic pain u learn to try to avoid stressful situations because u r so fearful of the physical pain that you know will be right behind the corner. It is kinda like act 2. act one is dealing with the stress and act two is physically dealing with the aftermath. i have been told more times then i can count that "i play the victom" or "i play the princess" or " i am acting like a chid". i have heard them all and maybe they are truely all true. yesterday  i was called some of those things from someone I love deaply. it got me thinking. y do i handle stress so badley. y do i become so irrational acting when faced with stress. i just break down. so my clonclusion is that when u live with chronic pain , u live your days thinking "hay this wasnt such a bad day today". but u see, you always have this nagging thought that tomorrow might be horrible. that i might wake up in the morning and "waste" the day in bed. i think that the fear of missing out from being with my family because of debilitating pain.it is a very very scary thought to have in the back of your mind "im going to have a bad day". it scares me so much. u c once u have a "bad day"  and understand what this pain does to your body and to your life. u begin to wish like hell that u dont ever have a bad day.so i believe the reason i deal so badley with stress or that it seems as if i play the victom. or run from a fight. or take all the fault in a fight or maybe i just lay there in a fetal position crying . i believe i do this because in the back of my mind i know that the more drama that is unfolding right before my eyes will only be the tip of the iceburge. wehn all the fighting is over and everyone has gone to bed. i lay there silently crying from a broken heart and a broken body. i just feel my body tensing and no matter how hard i try to make the pain stop from happening, i cant. that ladies and gentlemen , is the inside scoop. that is "living: with chronic pain."